so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
