somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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