There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
