Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
