I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
