I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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