6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
