Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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