Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
