I wish I could punch you in the face.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
