i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I intend to get homeless drunk
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize