so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
