dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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