Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize