I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
