That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Randomize
