he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
All I want is dick and wine.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
