Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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