I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
