I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
