I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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