Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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