I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
