Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
