bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
