Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
