I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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