I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
