Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
