I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
