Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
