I can tuck mytits in my pants
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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