My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
