One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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