had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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