Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
