I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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