Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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