told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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