let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
