It's Friday. Sex?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
did you just send me my own nude
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
