i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It's never too late to be topless.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
