his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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