Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize