I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
