I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
