Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
