my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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