Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
