Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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