Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
