how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
