Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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