Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we're making bets on your personal life
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
