the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
