pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Someone signed my nipple.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
