Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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