he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Did we literally take a cab across the street
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
