Your face is a jimmy john
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize