im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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