this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
