he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
