Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
